GOsh this is like the 11th time I had the same dream about what happened way back when I was in form 4... terrible experiences and all~~~ flashes and pieces of them flying back to me one by one...
It took me quite long to get all of them over with... but I'm just being very naive in having such thinking that everyone able to forgive and forget... I never blamed what happened back then but still the pain and memories just stuck in my mind... Feelings or thoughts of vengeance never once appeared and never did until now...
There are a lot of times that I wished that I able to talk to them once more and thank them for all those lessons that they showed to me...
everyone would say... your best friend will be yr best enemy in life... but to me this phrase... I interpret it as...
A best friend knows what is best for you and through pain and betrayals... you will begin your process of growing up *^.^* alot of people told me that im just being silly but i really meant what i say here ~~
For those friends who cares and loves you... yes they do but you need to have bad experiences to bring up the good ones in your life... that when appreciations and gratitude comes in *^.^*
In order to learn more is to fall hard... and not everyone can do that to us... and it takes a big courage for those who able to hurt another person whom they were once close with...
Ever since I started to join back clubs and all... there is always a part of me holding back in terms of trust.
Things that once easy for me seems to be so hard now... All i can do now is to remind myself about the past and make my own judgments on people's behaviors... As much as I want to live on, that is as much I want to fight my phobias on my past emotions!!! its never easy when you need to fight against yourself just to live on a better live.
Trying my best not to be someone's burden, oh well yes i still a burden for others~~ all those don't, wouldn't, can't and no's, just happen again and again and ~~ oh well yeah again!!!
In the nutshell, I'm just like any other people. But my will still very fragile to be all out there... ^^ no matter how hard is it!! I WILL MAKE IT THERE ONE THERE!!!
** refer to my wish list**
No comments:
Post a Comment