Wow its long since i last log into my own blogspot~~ i even forgotten my blog url !! wakkakakak!!!
oh well this is the new sem~~ but i felt like its going to be a tough one since its a lot for me to catch up and concentrate on....
All these times i felt blessed in many ways!! i got the people who always there fighting for me and pampers me whenever i needed them~~ thanks ya~~
But there is always something stuck in my mind... no matter how straight forward am i in my thinking as well as my daily routines in life.... i begun to learn that, there are always something that you wish to keep to yourself and a part of you thinking that its over while you know it hasn't because the issue is living within you...
I felt much and cried much over and over each time, but just like this Chinese saying that "you suffered but no one will know" even with the big smile and all those laughter that I've painted on my face... hoping that everyone wouldn't see through them....
I begun practice another mindset of thinking in stead of focusing on what I don't want, to something that I want instead!!
Feeling about all the happiness and excitement that I will be experiencing when i have my wish list granted!!
Though its not easy but hey~~ Its me, I don't mind anymore about the past or what happening to me now... what i care the most is the me that i want to be and wished to accomplish!!!
I don't have a very smooth sailing through my love life... falling for the one that I couldn't be together with, but those I can't do much as i told myself that I love myself much and making sure that I'm ok and avoid hurting myself further with all those mental tortures that I had been experiencing *^.^* it was a great lesson learnt and I'm not regretting anything from all these as I know there are other things in life that I could focus on to have !!
In terms of friendships... I don't how to keep my friends happy when they are at their lowest... and sometimes i hate it when i can't do much but to make things even worse for them as it already is.... i always feel insecure and felt that im not worthy to be with the ones i'm with actually... as if there is a contrast of standards whenever im standing beside them.... well maybe is that myself esteem is not that high after all like what it appears to be *^.^*
Day by day I tell myself that its going to be a better day one day and im looking forward to it!! as miracles do happen and that's what im believing in!!!
***TiUt TiuT***
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